Scrooge Mc’Pennypincher offers advice on masking the economic pinch from your mate and coming up roses (carnations are cheaper).

   
Times are tough my friends and the knuckles of the financial crisis are rapping hard on the wallets of Istanbul. The back bone of the ex-pat community, the oft-abused English teachers are poking holes in their belts straps to tighten them further. Surely I wasn’t the only man who grit his teeth last Valentine’s day and wrestled with reconciling the realities of the economy and pleasures of the flesh.  Luckily, Istanbul offers many options for those who seek long-term relief (and have exceeded their quota of mix CDs.)  TOiST offers the following advice for managing the economic crisis without losing touch with your romantic side.

Long Walks: Thank God for the Bosphorus. Few romance-starved hearts can resist a stroll along the most romantic waterway in the world. Istinye to Sarıyer offers the mellowest concrete for your feet. Prefer stiller water? Cross over to Asia and find Istanbul’s best promenade along the Marmara Sea between Kadıköy and Bostancı. You might also suggest a trek in Belgrad Forest for a more ‘private’ affair among the pines. Only 1 lira to enter by foot!
Warning: Seaside walks usually take you past wealthy neighbourhoods capable of stimulating possibly distressing conversation about the future over pricey espressos in the high-end cafes. The forest neutralizes this threat but gives another in that it’s a major pain to get to without a car, which I’m assuming you don’t have. Nor will the mud splattered on your mate by the passing ‘autoed-class’ do any good for your image.

Boat Rides: Once again, the Bosphorus comes to the rescue.  Hot tea and lots of cuddling are featured on this cruise, whether you choose the longer, scenic boat trip from Eminönü (20 TL each) or the shorter version travelling between the two bridges from Ortaköy (7 TL each). Sitting outside will encourage cuddling to stay warm. 
Warning: The scenic trip deposits you for a couple hours in Anadolu Kavaği, whose inhabitants are experts at milking visitors’ wallets. Instead head directly up the hill to the castle on the hill north of the town. It’s at least twenty minutes each way and costs nothing to enter. Linger on the lovely views before returning just in time to catch the boat. Ok, you might leave enough time for a simit.

Visit the Family: Show what a sweetheart you are by suggesting a visit to your partner’s family. Not only is it free, but you’ll also be stuffed to the gills with quality free food, some of which you will probably go home with. They may even offer a ride home.
Warning: This way is fraught with danger, from the family shotgun to the marriage inquisition, not to mention a possibly frustrating or unwelcome lesson in Turkish family politics. Proceed with caution. 

Picnics: Warmer weather brings yet another opportunity to woo on the cheap. Borrow a blanket and head to the city centre’s best location, Yıldız Park. Control expenses even more by making the sandwiches yourself. Add water (for her health), and nuts (classier than Doritos and almost as cheap) to the basket and spend the afternoon on her lap.    
Warning: Yıldız’s unkempt muddy grounds can necessitate dry cleaning bills. Worse yet, the numerous stray dogs may challenge your machismo (or worse show a lack of) in front of your beloved.  She won’t appreciate any girlish screams.

The Islands: You don’t need to travel by “da plane, da plane” to get to Istanbul’s fantasy islands. The Adalar lay just an akbil away if you take the slower (and more convincingly romantic) vapurs rather than the more comfy, expensive speedboats. Sipping hot tea on the deck and feeding simit to birds are full of Hollywood sap that your partner will love and under five lira. Upon arrival, break out the picnic gear or keep the fires burning with an easily affordable (4 TL per hour) bike ride round the island. The horse and buggy tour (30-40 TL) will make her feel like Cinderella.  
Warning: Not forgetting the pricey fish restaurants, the graceful gorgeousness of the old houses reveal a level of society that you’ll probably never be able to reach or provide. Don’t let her linger too long in one place. 

Art Galleries:  Exhibitions are golden for the cost-conscious lothario. Excepting the Sabancı, Istanbul’s galleries are very light on the wallet but heavy on class.  Attend an opening and you may even get free wine. It’ll make you appear far more cultured that you actually are. 
Warning:  Museum gift shops are bad enough for romantic mementos but nothing compared to the cost of their restaurants. Art food ain’t cheap and the creative cocktails are through the roof. As for the gallery openings? The combination of cheapness and free wine can often cause acute cases of makeanassoutofyourself disease.

Cooking: Nothing warms both the heart and stomach as much as your hubby cooking for you. If your lady happens to be Turkish, you can dazzle her taste buds with any of those packets of instant curry, satay, and sweet-sour sauce your mom’s been sending you. Stir-fry some veggies, plop it on some rice, then class it up with a few lime wedges.  The novel flavour will mask your culinary incompetence and show faux-sophistication.
Warning: Avoid any discussion of the food as it may lead to questions regarding the preparation. Perhaps make up a more exotic explanation than “I emptied the contents into a bowl and added water.”  The inevitable wine may also set you back a bit unless she brings it…

“It:” Whether you do it, have it, or make it, who can deny ‘it’ is still the best bang for the buck (though, hopefully there's no buck involved in your banging...) Sweetly suggest spending a full day in bed together. Her place is much preferable as the contents of her fridge consist of more than a bottle of ketchup and cans of beer. Recharge with classics of the silver screen then play it again Sam.
Warning: Such intense romantic action is always coupled with romantic talk. It’s often in the embrace of post-coital bliss that our partner’s most ambitious plans tend to come out, most of which will only remind you of your own inadequacies.
The Final Word: The best way to endure the economic crisis is to hook up with a victim of it. Dating someone unemployed ensures frugality, economy and true sympathy, not to mention that opportunity to find that special someone who loves you for you, someone for whom you can one day make up for your wretched stinginess.